Laura Palmer. My fictional muse and fucked up friend. I have a very strange and deep connection with a lot of fiction and Laura is no exception. However she is an unusual choice for me. Of course I was initially drawn to her fabulous minimal, nineties, sexy and at times androgynous style and Sheryl Lee’s fabulously carved face. Her eyes are something that strikes me in particular, her transformable and dead eyes. Sheryl Lee, as an actor and woman is somebody who I admire and love. She is not only extremely talented, transformable and beautiful but so perfectly Laura Palmer. This was made late at night when I was feeling particularly dreamy. Essentially this is an experiment for what I would like to be able to make into a film. I am trying to channel the echoing sounds and fading dreamlike quality of David Lynch’s works. Perhaps I will post a film soon.

I love Lana Del Rey. There is something so interestingly broken and mystical about her aura. She exudes this sort of broken hearted tragedy that gives her such an interesting stage presence. Her style is very classic beauty queen but what I love about her is she also mixes, so intricately, the styles of Lolita, gangster and vintage so well. Her sounds are on another level. I certainly feel like her sound is unique to her and that her story and vision are purely her artistic qualities. She, for me brings something to modern music, (which I am rarely a fan of, I often prefer other genres or modern alternative music), that only the likes of Lady Gaga has, (but for me I won’t deny, Lady Gaga is beyond something Del Rey could ever reach in my heart and vision, Lady Gaga is more my eternal influence and pop opera alien god). Lana Del Rey is defiantly a talent. And it’s not often that a talent, in my opinion, emerges in this society. She is a very precious, glamorous exotic flower.

This is my second mood board. I made it the other day and haven't had time to post yet. I was and am feeling a bit symbolic and into fashion at the moment. I am also feeling quite alone. I sort of feel like sick in a strange way. And a bit drugged and controlled. I would sincerely like to spend a day or two in bed to chill out for a moment.

 Inside me there is something
No one knows about
Like a secret
Sometimes it takes over
And I drift back
Deep into darkness.
This secret tells me
I will never grow older
Never laugh with friends
Never be who I should if I ever reveal
Its name.

I cannot tell if it is real
Or if I dream of it
For when it touches me
I drift off
No tears come
No screams
I am wrapped up
In a nightmare of hands
And of fingers
And of small tiny voices in the woods.
So wrong
So beautiful
So bad
So Laura.

    I have to go home. Now. It is too dark. This is not a nice place to me right now

That was an extract from The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer written by Jennifer Lynch, based on the hit series Twin Peaks. I think this is a very apt interpretation of how the woods can be. These images are stills from Twin Peaks and photographs of woods in Canada and Washington. I find any woods to be a very powerful and spiritual place. I think it’s because of the nature. I come from the city and we aren’t surrounded by very much nature and when you are inside the woods, you could be anywhere. You could be the only one left of the world. I find them to be a very frightening, beautiful and calming place.

Recently I have been working on a short film that I just decided to make out of the blue. I document the local church a lot because it’s a place that I find intriguing, artistic and peaceful. I love churches and graveyards and the like, I always have. I was raised in a really Catholic family with the influence of traditional, German Jewish immigrant influence so my mother’s family, (the Jewish maternal side in particular) where very religious and my father’s family were also Roman Catholics. There were sacred hearts and crosses everywhere, but not in a creepy way, my grandmother on my mum’s side was a great example of a whole heartedly beautiful soul whilst also remaining to be a catholic, (excuse the discriminatory remarks, it’s just Catholicism, as I am sure you are most aware of is a rather ridged religion). My mother is more spiritual however and tried to shelter me from religious prejudice that the Catholics, (particularly my father’s side), can promote. I suppose that’s one of the main reasons I find it so fascinating and nostalgic. I tip largely towards the agnostic side of things, I do not denying the possibility of something but doubt it at times, and it’s the idea of "nothing" that I was aiming to explore in my film. I think the bible to be a fabulously dramatic and artistic lie. But this work is largely intended to be iconographical and a bit eerie, I may put it on, but as I don’t have many followers I don’t see the point yet. Also I don’t have my fabulous camera yet, much to my disappointment! So I filmed it on a regular HD camera thing. I just want a full tech crew please. I am ready to be a director and fabulous star now thank you!

AMERICANO

                                  

I have had some very American vibes lately and have felt veryinspired by classic stereotypical American things. I have always wanted to be a New Yorker or Californian or something like that. Even anywhere in Washington or Canada… The American dream intrigues me.

This is my mood board/ collage type thing that I made. This is my current inspirations and moods. It’s a bit Hollywood a bit American, a bit sad, a bit religious. It’s very me currently. I can’t fully explain, let the picture   explain itself!